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Fierce conversations principles
Fierce conversations principles




fierce conversations principles

“What topic are you hoping I won’t bring up?” “What is currently impossible, that if it were made possible, would make the biggest difference?” In the two-hour individual sessions, she coached them. At the day-long meetings, they had a morning or learning (for examples, a speaker) and then an afternoon of group sharing and problems solving for and with each other. Ī group coaching model that Scott used with sixteen CEOs, an ongoing program with two types of sessions: monthly days together and monthly two hour individual one-to-ones with her. Humans long for belonging, being safely known, valued, and understood.

fierce conversations principles

Am I on the right path? Where am I going? Why am I going there? Who is going with me? How will I get there?ģ. We should work on our future-forward vision, our personal values, and so on. Our concurrent jobs are to address work growth and development while also discovering our own personal awareness and growth. Strong leaders want the truth.” What are our team’s undiscussables? Time to discuss them honestly. Come out from behind yourself into the conversations and make it real. “I have contributed to the issue by … and for that, I apologise.” Identify your contribution(s) to this issue. “I feel …”Ĭlarify why this is important - what is at stake to gain or lose for you, others, the team, the company. “For example, …”ĭescribe your emotions around this issue. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change. What are my personal official truths and ground truths? Have fierce conversations with myself. What is the “official truth” in my company, the projected idea of what is happening, versus the “ground truth”, the truth of what we really see on the ground, nearer the action? “What is going to try to get in your way?” “What is the most potent step you could take?” “When you contemplate these results, what do you feel?” “What results will you enjoy? Others? The company?” “When this issue is resolved, what difference will it make?” “What part of the issue has your fingerprints on it?”Įxample: “I could have talked to you sooner.”

  • Examine personal contribution to the issue.
  • “When you consider the possible outcomes, what do you feel?” “If nothing changes, what is at stake for you”

    fierce conversations principles

    “When you think of those results, what do you feel?” “What other results is this situation producing?” “How is this issue currently impacting you?” Paraphrase-“Am I understanding you correctly that you think _?” “What is the most important thing you and I should be talking about today?” “Mineral rights” conversation: digging deep in a coaching conversation: “What is the most important thing we should be talking about today?” This is a question to use in meetings, in one-to-ones, and with family and friends. Instead of saying, “I need to talk to you about….”, say “I want to talk with you about….” “I know you want more time to work on this project and the deadline is looming.” Use an issue preparation form to clarify for yourself and share it with the people with whom you want to talk.ĭon’t say “but” – replace it with “and”. What issues are we avoiding? What are we pretending not to know? Bravely call a meeting about the real issue or a high stakes decision. People want (at least) one person who will be honest with them and to be honest with one person. Most people want to hear the truth even if it’s hard. (“Beach ball conversation”: each of us is on a different coloured striped of the ball and hence we have our truths to share.) Have conversations where we share our truths, since we all see and experience our work or relationship uniquely. Master the courage to interrogate reality.Take responsibility for your emotional wake.

    fierce conversations principles

    Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.Master the courage to interrogate reality.All conversations are with myself, and sometimes they involve others. And the conversation is the relationship. Our lives, or businesses, or relationships succeed or fail gradually and then suddenly, one conversation at a time.






    Fierce conversations principles